I wonder if people realize that for only children, aside from God and parents, friends are all we got. I think my parents understand that especially since they're older, which makes it harder for them to keep up with certain things. So all I've really got are friends, which I have great ones so far, but I can't say the same about my situation in Fullerton. I'm not sure if its the graduate school atmosphere or the water in Southern California, but I get back to the same thought that I value and invest more in friendships than the other person.
This carries over from being home over winter break, and essentially staying home most of the time. Coming back to Fullerton, school has been manageable, just the usual demanding schedule where we practice techniques at odd hours of the night. It just sucks when everyone is doing their own thing, since they're originally from here or have other plans, and I'm just left on my own. It difficult believing in friendships when calls are not returned or texts aren't answered. Since coming back, I've just been struggling with feeling lonely. Friendship isn't a one way street. All I can do is accept everything for what it's worth, and hope that down the line I meet and make friends that see friendship the same way I do. The misconception is that people change, but reality is that it doesn't happen often.
For the friends I have in Fullerton, I think whatever we have now is as far as it will ever go, until something changes on their end. All I can do is just put myself out there hoping people have the same regard for friendship that I do. This is definitely and emo post, but this is just what I've been dealing with recently.
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