So Long 2009

To start the end of 2009, I found out my former high school coach passed away. I found out he was admitted to the hospital earlier this week. When I swam for Art, I posted my best times in swimming. Swimming probably was like 50% of my high school life next to the academics. I enjoyed swimming for Art and being under his coaching as opposed to my previous time spent at my club team. Practicing and having him coach me made me feel like I was a part of a team, and not just competing for myself or against my teammates. He had me swim 200 and 500 freestyle, the endurance events that he needed me to swim and win for my high school. He called me names, but I know it was in good fun. I found it exciting and fun to swim for him, and I think he appreciated how hard I swam for him, and how the rest of our team swam hard for him and our school. When I got to Lowell, the swimming team had won 4 years consecutively, and my class was able to experience another 4 more years of success. Art's legacy continued after I left for another 4 more years. RIP Art Octavio; you left a legacy in Lowell swimming, and the hearts of your swimmers.

Since 2009, is at its end; I'm another year closer to being an optometrist. 2012 cannot come soon enough. Overall, this year has been relatively drama free. Aside from living on my friends couch for a month, while enduring finals, and being a part of a love triangle, everything has been pretty smooth. The relationship with my relatives has been non-existent since I moved out of their place. I don't know how my mom is communicating with them or at all. The love triangle is resolved, and I'm on the outside looking in. It took a while to get over, but it is for the best.
I went to 3 weddings this year, and one of them I was a part of. It was awesome just celebrating people committing their lives to each other. It was special finally seeing two of my closest friends tie the knot, and sad to see them move to NY. I remember their last week here; I made two special trips to Ici (an ice cream shoppe) and buy 2 pints of ice cream for them. I was able to hang out with them and other friends from college this past two weeks while I was home. They say we're getting old. We are only 24-26. God willing; we still have a lot of time left. I think she may feel older cause she's already married.
No relationships this year just a lot of exploring. In 2009, I put myself out there more, and dated more freely. I take the "let's see what happens approach." I don't invest myself too much into first dates because it's only a first date, just try to have a good time and go from there.

Academically, things have been going well. Optometry school is demanding but just managing my time has helped me get through it. I'm learning more and school seems to be moving faster since I'll be seeing patients in 2010. I know this year has been tough on many other people and friends. It's just been pretty hum-drum for me in retrospect. In my next post, I'll talk about my expectations and hopes for 2010.

(500) Days of Summer

sooooo....i finally watched this movie since it came out this week on DVD. It wasn't what I expected, but I think they make that clear from the very beginning. It is "a story about a boy meeting a girl, but it's not a love story." I like Joseph Gordon-Levitt's wardrobe in this movie, but I doubt I could ever pull that off, but it's nice. I also was wondering if Levitt was imitating a Jersey accent or if that is really how he talks.
Pacing the movie by jumping from one day and then another event 200 days later was kind of disrupting. However what I liked about the movie is how they really analyze and tell the story with all the intricate details of the two people meeting and trying to figure out what they are, which I feel is common in how indie films explore and tell things.
It was an epiphany, when Tom talks to his step sister. She tells him "you may think she was the one, but looking back at it, i don't think she was the one for you." Maybe it just resonates with me, but it is so true how we interpret things, and how we only remember certain things and ignore others. Also I really liked how they portray the difference between his expectations and reality; I felt it was a reflection of how I think of things all the time.
I thought it was awesome that at the end, he meets someone else, Autumn (Minka Kelly from Friday Night Lights), who is more attractive than Summer (Zoey Deschanel).
Overall, I thought the movie was great, but the pacing wasn't what I expected. I did like the day after sex musical sequence. It reminded me of Enchanted when they're singing in Central Park.

blog revival !!

So I know I haven't posted in a while. Plenty of things have been happening, and numerous thoughts have crossed my mind, but at the end of the day I've just been too lazy to enter them into the blog. My friend decided to start a blog because her life is about to have 2 major changes: marriage, and relocation (to NY). Talking to her about her blog reminded me of putting effort into my own. I also know a lot of people don't read this any way, which is kind of good since I can write more openly, but at the same time there just isn't a lot of readership.

I'll continue posting about random things, recently thoughts of the NBA draft and free agency to my trip to Portland. The bachelor party experience (not what you think), and a roommate came to visit from SoCal. Those are just some of the things that have been going on the past several weeks.

Why I do what I do

So after successfully, surviving one week of research, I told my manager that I would work in the optometry office on Saturday. My experience this past Saturday reminded me why I want to become and optometrist, and why I enjoy it.

After very little person to person interaction in the research/lab setting, I was seeing patients come into the office and signing them in and dispensing glasses or contacts to them. I didn't run as many pre-tests that day for some reason, but it was just really rewarding and enjoyable just to be helping patients and seeing people that I saw the first time they came into the office. They remembered me, and I remember them. I found myself more welcoming and friendlier, when they came in and left the office to enjoy the weekend.

Two patients who really got me excited was one who was returning for the 2nd time, and picking up glasses. She is a video game tester at EA games (awesome!). She tests the Sims games, and recently worked on the Sims 3. So not only was it exciting to see her back at the office, but just to talk about her job and what she's been doing was just fun for me. Next was a walk-in patient looking to get glasses made. Turns out she works at Pixar, and was working on the movie Up for the past 5 years. Honestly, when I meet patients who are in career fields, that are art related make me excited to ask questions and learn more about what they do. So it was exciting chatting it up with her and what it is like working at Pixar.

So another incident that happened that day was the daughter of a patient came in requesting that we make glasses for her mother. The pair of glasses had broken, and legally without a recent eye exam, and a valid perscription, we cannot get glasses made. The situation was that the mother is in a nursing home, and it would be difficult for her to come out for an eye exam, and impractical for the O.D. to go there and conduct and eye exam. I am not sure if the empathy is a result of the recent passing of my employer's mother, or something else. But the O.D. said that we could make glasses for the patient without an exam, and taking the prescription from the broken glasses that were brought in.

This scenario reminded me of why I wanted to be an optometrist, and how sometimes you need to break the rules to do what is right, and what is best for the patient. It is technically illegal, but it's ethical in that you're helping the patient. We're helping more than causing harm. It is not just our ability to sympathesize or empathesize with our patients, but as Christians we need to show love to others because God first showed us love. Interacting with patients is not only a joy, but it is an expression of the love that God had for us. It's no where on the same level as God's agape love, but it's one form of expression that we, as humans, can best try to imitate Him.

Day 3

So, a conclusion from Day 2 is that I don't like research cause a lot of the time you're doing work by yourself. I'm sure if there were more patients involved in certain studies, then that would improve the interaction, but I found myself working with not chatting-companions.

At the office I work at, despite the hectic nature of the patient flow, it's always comforting to be able to chat with co-workers, patients, and employers. I found myself staring at the computer a lot the past couple days, whether it was compiling and organizing corneal topographic maps, or reading journal articles.

I do like what I'm researching though. I'm learning a lot, and I'm able to connect what I learned this past year to things that I'm being introduced to now, and seeing the big picture. That's how I like to learn. So, it's not that I don't like research; it's more that the work environment is not my cup of coffee (I prefer coffee over tea :D)

But I did get to meet with my mentor for the first time. My impression is that a lot of effort is expected from me, but the reward and results from that effort is already envisioned, so the motivation is there. It's going to be tough, but rewarding in the end. I'm not one to back away from a challenge, and when I commit to something, it means I give a lot up for it. It also helps that my research area is very applicable. The focus is on contact lenses, in general the approach is why is there a constant drop-out rate of contact lens wearers despite the various improvements, in design and cleaning solutions?

The approach to address that issue is whether certain measurements that are advertised as being important for maintaining the moisture of a contact lens in the eye, is really indicative of maintaining the tear film in eyes. In addition, does the measurement imply anything about patients who experience dry eyes all the time.

The can of worms is open, and I'm still reading the label on the can....here we go!

Hello testing the connection to my blog from my iPhone. Hope this works.

Day 1 done

So I survived Day 1, it was mainly completing a online education course about human rights while conducting research.  It was a rehash of a lot that I covered in ethics at SCCO, such as confidentiality, informed consent, research design on human subjects, and conflicts of interest.

I met one of the O.D. that I will be working with for the first month, and learned that I'll get some training and familiarity with some corneal topography equipment (front surface of the eye), and learn a bit about orthokeratology (reshaping the front of you eye with contact lenses).  I'm excited.  I was just drained from looking at the computer monitor all day, and I work in the basement of the optometry building, so there are no windows...bummer.

Day 2...here I come.

Research Begins

In approximately 10 hours or less, I'll be starting my summer research program at U.C. Berkeley.  I'll be conducting research under Dr. Lin in the Contact Lens Research Center in Minor Hall.  I'm actually pretty nervous, even though she is a mentor, and there are weekly seminars I feel the pressure to be self-motivated to get whatever research is done completed.

The nervousness stems from my prior research experience in undergrad (U.C. Davis), where it actually didn't pan out to what I expected.  I expected more teaching and "hand-holding" throughout the process, and they expected me to pick up things right away and do them on my own.  So going into the whole thing tomorrow, I need to be more proactive about the whole thing.

Research isn't my forte, and isn't exactly why I went into optometry.  It is essential to optometry, as it is in any field to build the credibility and improve a career.  I'm excited in a way because I don't know what to expect, but my concern is if I can't meet my expectations or my mentors.  However, it's these situation in which I think I excel.  

My assistant coach indirectly put pressure on me to be a certain way at basketball practice today.  I think I showed up to play, and let my game do all the talking.  Of course, my stamina wasn't up to par, and made some mistakes, but the intensity I displayed at practice, hopefully, showed my teammates that I was committed.  Another example of excelling under pressure was when I started working after I graduated.  I was entering an optometry office, where I knew there weren't that many current or former male employees.  The ones that did work through that office were now optometrists, and I felt the pressure to be just as good if not better than those before me.

As far as I'm concerned, summer is just about to begin tomorrow.  Time to get busy :D

End of Year 1

As you can see, I haven't posted for about 2 months.  A lot has been going through my head and unfortunately I haven't taken the time to type them all out.  So I guess over the course of the next couple weeks/months, I'll do some recap of what's been on my mind lately.  And hopefully with summer starting, I'll have more time to update consistently.

As of this past Thursday, May 21st, 2009, I finished my first year in optometry school.  It's hard to imagine that I'm a second year now, and that 3 months from now there will be a whole new batch of optometry students eager to learn, and not yet ready for what's about to come at them.  I remember starting the year off being disappointed that I wasn't accepted into the Berkeley optometry program.  So my motivation to work hard was that I wanted to be skilled for my career and that I wanted to be the best because I didn't get into Berkeley.  As the first couple quarters went by.  I did well, and of course they don't just allow dummies into optometry school, so I know there were others doing better than me.  However, I was satisfied with how I was performing.  I'm not sure what changed, maybe it was the hassle of moving, the stress that I saw other classmates experiencing, or just that the courses in the Spring were not as interesting or engaging.  I got off to a rocky start this quarter, but I think I managed to avoid any C's.  Nonetheless, I remained at ease and calm while I saw a lot of my classmates stressing out.  I continue to work hard and try to live up to my potential, but I also try to remain grounded.  Knowing that God is sovereign and that He has a plan in the best and worst times, is a placating reminder of that I can't do it alone, and whatever I accomplish is not because of me.

Again I can't imagine that it has been 9 months since I started optometry school.  I don't think I've changed too much, but I think the friends I have at school have influenced me in the things that I do.  It's been nice living down here and going to school, and meeting new people, but I think I'm ready to go home to the Bay Area.  I haven't been back in 3 months, and I'm ready just to be free of some responsibilities for a while.  I'm ready to see my friends.  I see my classmates almost 7 days a week.  I mean I do live with 2 of them, so it's a welcome break from my classmates, and just to enjoy the time with family, friends, and familiarity.

It was weird having dinners and hanging out with classmates knowing that I wouldn't see them for about 3 months, at least most of them.  Next year will be harder, and I will be more organized.  But until then, I just want to cherish the fact that I completed my first year.  Whatever obstacles and difficulties that will be presented to me next year, I know God is working behind and through everything to shape me, and test me.  This summer, I want to continue to build my relationship with God, and understand how much I need and depend on Him because without Him, I am nothing.  Without salvation and God as my cornerstone, I have no foundation, and that when I become someone of this world.

Life isn't always about school, and the next best thing, but it's about serving God, and living your life for Him, and letting others see that.  Life is different, life is changing, but God is constant, and truth.

a good poem

Siwashing it out once in Siuslaw Forest
I slept under   rhododendron
All night   blossoms fell
Shivering on   a sheet of cardboard
Feet stuck   in my pack
Hands deep   in my pockets
Barely  able  to  sleep.
I remembered   when we were in school
Sleeping together   in a big warm bed
We were   the youngest lovers
When we broke up   we were still nineteen.
Now our   friends are married
You teach   school back east
I dont mind   living this way
Green hills   the long blue beach
But sometimes   sleeping in the open
I think back   when I had you.

                     Gary Snyder

Kollaboration 9: Empowerment Through Entertainment

A little over a week ago, I went to watch Kollaboration at the Shrine Theater on the USC campus. My first exposure to Kollaboration was through videos online and then through Youtube. They had videos of the infamous freestyle dance competition at Kollaboaration. Kollaboration originated as a Korean American talent show, providing an outlet for aspiring artists to sing, dance, and perform. This being the 9th year since it’s start back in 2000; the show has transcended its Korean American roots and now encourages and supports Asian Americans as a group. I always wanted to attend the show, but there were never shows in NorCal/ Bay Area.
Having moved temporarily to Southern California for school has given me the opportunity to experience this performing arts talent competition. Sitting through the whole experience reinvigorated my passion for the equality and expression of the Asian American experience. From hearing the MC crack jokes about his Korean culture and the stereotypes, and seeing the commercials with Asian American actors representing Asian products and films was encouraging.
Seeing the individual performers on stage performing their craft reminded me of my own desire to make films. Though my personality would not fit in well with the cheek-kissing, fashion saavy world of Hollywood, I could probably fit in well with the grind of the indy film-maker. Nonetheless , either path would be difficult, but to see dreams being worked for was an inspiration.
I also purchased the HK shorts from Wongfu Productions , which I watched this past week, while I was home. The quality of the picture was ok, similar to the quality of my own amateur short films; but to dedicate and commit the time to develop and film ideas – is something I have yet to do. I hope that I do end up reaching the end of the creative tunnel and do make some short films that will affect people. Because I would definitely regret following through my desires and using the talent that God has given me.
Aside from my passion for making movies and bringing life to characters through engaging stories, I enjoyed Kollaboration a lot. Kaba Modern, video above, was spectacular and very well polished in their dance routine. Joe Koy was hilarious, and I wish him the best of success in the future. It was sad that the competitors only were allowed one performance each, but also good since some of them did not really connect with the crowd. Boa was a nice surprise, but as great as a performer and chart-topper she is in Asia, I do not think that will translate well in the U.S. She has that Britney-esqe vocals and musicality, but I am not sure if that’s what the U.S. market is looking for or expecting from a Korean pop star.

Top 10 Cities I'd Visit in the U.S.

1. Seattle, WA
2. New York, NY
3. Chicago, IL
4. New Orleans, LA
5. Boston, MA
6. Miami, FL
7. Portland, OR
8. Honolulu, HI
9. Phoenix, AZ
10. Providence, RI

A bit disappointed

There is a scholarship available to optometry students through the Transitions photosensitive lens technology company. They encourage applicants to create projects centers on vision care and the importance of healthy vision. I was hoping to start and finish it over the break.

However, looking at past winners' projects, they have been very large undertakings, such as illustrated books, music videos, etc. That's all and good, but I don't think I have enough time to do that, and plus I'm not quite sure what my project would focus on.

Crossing the Finish Line

Reading the title of this entry, it would seem more suited for an entry about graduating or finishing something. Unfortunately this entry isn’t on that scale, but still significant enough to be qualified as such. At about 2:15 PM, I stepped out of the lecture hall having finished my 2nd Quarter at SCCO. It was an end to the intense finals week. The finals schedule was brutal; it didn’t show any mercy. There were 5 finals in 5 days, with the two most comprehensive and difficult classes coming first. Prior to finals, we had 2 weeks with 5 exams. This quarter has been especially difficult because of the break that we were given resulting in a compacted testing schedule.

Aside from the merciless finals schedule, I was living on my friend’s futon. Two and half weeks before the end of the quarter, I decided to leave my relatives’ residence, where I had been living since the start of the school year. An incident the night before I moved out, startled me and made me uncomfortable about living there anymore. It’s difficult staying, when you know that they expect you to move out, they do not communicate with you, and you think that your actions maybe the cause of the harrowing incident. I’ve never been in a position where I was that scared. I did not want to stay another night, because of the uncertainty of when a similar incident would occur. I packed my things the following night, and moved to Tustin.

Adapting to Tustin was rocky in the beginning. Luckily, it was at the end of the quarter. I actually grew to like Tustin a lot, despite the big commercial shopping plazas. Old Tustin is what I came to enjoy. In the same way that I explored La Mirada, and Fullerton, I searched for restaurants in Tustin. I explored and tried coffee shops and bakeries, sipping and snacking on tasty treats. The difficult part was not to get distracted living with my friend.

In desperation, I called my friend asking if I could crash at his place, and he said okay after checking with his housemates. I will be forever grateful for my friend’s hospitality. It was hard trying to study when my friend was trying to persuade me to play video games or watch movies. I know I study a lot, and was grateful that he helped me relax a bit. Though I did not necessarily change my study habits, I did not stress about the finals that were coming the following week.

Even with the looming need to study for the next final, after finishing each one, I was still able to enjoy my finals week. I went out to explore and try restaurants that I’ve been hearing about or meaning to try. The finals week was grueling though. Long hours at school just reading and reading over material. Testing my classmates with questions and studying every last detail because we did not want to underestimate the test. I was just waiting for the opportunity to sit back and let my brain rot. Praise God for His grace, and creating me the way He did. From what I know, I did well on my finals.

This whole experience has reminded me that God is in control, that He may all of sudden turn our life upside down within 24 hours. It was like God took my life, a snow globe, and shook it up. I had to wait and see where all the snowflakes would end up landing. I learned to appreciate my friends. I shared with some of the brothers in church the details of my situation, and why it has been difficult to feed my faith during this transitional period. My high school friend stepped up in a big way, and I will never forget that. I know that I only keep in touch with a few of my high school friends, and he is one that no matter when your last conversation was, there is no awkwardness when we see each other again.

Thank you, God for your sovereignty and omniscience in getting me through period of time in my life.

Mr. Right (in front of you)

This is my post about people not seeing what's right in front of them. My thoughts now are that sometimes the best people are the ones close to you, but often times people don't recognize that or they take it for granted and look else where for potential relationships.

Beat Freaks

Best Show on TV: Friday Night Lights

This is probably the best drama on television right now. It's the drama surrounding the life and football culture in Dillon, Texas, and how the culture affects the lives of the individuals deeply involved. Each character has been well developed, and you feel attached to all their stories and situations.

This show reminds me of the "core" values that contribute to a stable, fundamental life. Seeing the coach value the strength of his family. Things aren't happy go lucky, which if it were wouldn't make for good television, but you see how they get through the tough times. You see how they balance the pressures of life decisions and moral values. Despite all the drama, the heart and moral character is revealed through their relationships with people and decisions they make.

I'm not saying this show is the ideal way to live your life or make decisions, but it reminds me of how sticking to your values is where your foundation is. The foundation of your character should be rooted in what is right and true. That for me would be the Word of God, keeping that in sight is important, though you may stray from it once in a while.

In the hard times, relish and pray for the strength of patience, to ask God what the right decision is. It only leads to a better ending, His ending.

Valentine's Day

People claim Valentine's Day is over-rated, and that there shouldn't be just one day set aside to show your love for your significant other, and that you should love them every day or more often. I'm thinking the statistics in the U.S. are willing to disagree, but that's not the point of my post. How can Valentine's Day be over-rated if you haven't had the chance to participate in the hoopla that is filled with chocolate, red hearts, and gifts.

I don't want to be emo or chummy, but it's tough accepting God's timing and being obedient to His will when you think you're ready for something.

Actions are louder than words

Tyrus Thomas just told J.O. to shut-up


Monta before the ankle injury


The Glory Days of the Warriors


for the small guys like me


for the blood thirsty...lol


the classic...


not a facial dunk, but a beautiful slam nonetheless

Dance Like Me...

T-Pain - New Music - More Music Videos

SO SO Sick...