F.R.I.E.N.D.S

I wonder if people realize that for only children, aside from God and parents, friends are all we got. I think my parents understand that especially since they're older, which makes it harder for them to keep up with certain things. So all I've really got are friends, which I have great ones so far, but I can't say the same about my situation in Fullerton. I'm not sure if its the graduate school atmosphere or the water in Southern California, but I get back to the same thought that I value and invest more in friendships than the other person.

This carries over from being home over winter break, and essentially staying home most of the time. Coming back to Fullerton, school has been manageable, just the usual demanding schedule where we practice techniques at odd hours of the night. It just sucks when everyone is doing their own thing, since they're originally from here or have other plans, and I'm just left on my own. It difficult believing in friendships when calls are not returned or texts aren't answered. Since coming back, I've just been struggling with feeling lonely. Friendship isn't a one way street. All I can do is accept everything for what it's worth, and hope that down the line I meet and make friends that see friendship the same way I do. The misconception is that people change, but reality is that it doesn't happen often.

For the friends I have in Fullerton, I think whatever we have now is as far as it will ever go, until something changes on their end. All I can do is just put myself out there hoping people have the same regard for friendship that I do. This is definitely and emo post, but this is just what I've been dealing with recently.

The Uncertainty Is Annoying

What do you do when you feel like your attracted to someone, but logically and realistically there are obstacles in the way?

I'm trying to remind myself of God's timing and faithfulness, but it's hard. Temptation is great, but God is greater.

So Unexpected?!?!

While I was waiting at the airport for my flight back to Fullerton, which was delayed, someone tried to rob my parents' house. Luckily or even more terrifying was that my parents were home. The thief came in through the backyard, and my parents, in the kitchen, just so happened to see the thief.

The thief took off in a car that was parked in our drive way. I would've never thought that something like that would happen to my home and my family. You always see/ hear stories like on America's Most Wanted, and when I was a kid I would let my imagination run wild. Praise God for my parents safety.

When my dad told me all this, I was initially concerned about my parents, and then my thoughts went to "what if things were stolen." I felt the guilt of idolatry, and storing or valuing worldly things or treasures. Nothing we have here (on Earth) is more important than our relationship with God, and nothing and no one should deserve more worship and praise than God. So I felt somewhat ashamed that even when I try to view all my possessions through this perspective, my thoughts still diverted in that direction of what if...my Playstation 3 was stolen along with my games and movies.

Only if Kali wasn't such a scaredy-cat! But honestly, praise God that everyone is safe, and my parents' home has not been burglarized. They are so wired now and doing everything to prevent another robbery attempt. But also this was just as reminder that God provides everything for us, and we should be ready to let it all go as well.

Lay Up Treasures in Heaven

19 "Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, 20 but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
22 "The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light, 23 but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!

24 "No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money.

Matthew 6:19-24