The Mans Guide to Love

I came across this website from following Angry Asian Man Blog. The website has various interviews of men all over the United States answering the question of what is love? Some also have various tips on love and women.
It's and interesting find, and a nice way to waste some time. It's a unique way to look at the male perspective of loving the opposite sex. I don't have any strong opinions worth sharing at the moment, and it's pretty late. I just think it's interesting hearing what other men are saying.

The Mans Guide to Love

Fantasy Basketball

I don't know where or when my love for basketball started. Was it the pick-up games during recess, or the crazy horse games after school, or that silly game called knock-out. I was never particularly great at the game. I have some memories of me, the husky kid with glasses, running up and down the court not fully sure of what I was supposed to do except put the ball in the hoop.

I didn't grow up watching the game missing all the ESPN Classics that are now being replayed. I only started watching the NBA playoffs during high school. Then I went to my first Warriors game in 2004-2005, and for some reason I was hooked. I'm not sure if it was the Bay Area swagger of the fans in the nosebleeds, or just having an underdog to root for. Nevertheless, the ups and downs of the Warriors have been difficult to defend amidst the Laker fans I am currently surrounded by. I supposed I can always elaborate on basketball later.

I was first introduced into the world of Fantasy Basketball in college. I played for bragging rights, and I had no idea what I was doing, but it was fun. Paying attention to the statistics of the players on your team, and learning about up and coming players that weren't as well known gave me a better understanding of the game, and an appreciation for other teams in the NBA. Since then, I've been in other leagues, where there are buy-ins. The reason I am posting this is just because I want to write about how time consuming this can all be especially when some money is on the line.

Following the playing time, injuries, tendencies, and knowing the strength and weaknesses of your team can be overly demanding. It does take away time from studying, and almost places all that information and the desire to create a competitive, winning team ahead of my desires and time for the Lord. My will to win, and fear of losing sometimes creeps ahead of my priority to just remembering the grace of God during my days, and relying on Him for the struggles in my life.

As much as I love all aspects of basketball, God is so much greater and He deserves more than I can ever amount to or give.

Thanks, Mom!

So I was meaning to make this post earlier, but with finals and constant studying, I really haven't set aside the time to type this out. But currently my clinic schedule is Monday 2-6, Wednesday 4-8, and Saturday 8-4. Wednesday was my long day with exams at 8 am. So I was almost at school for about 12 hours.
Knowing this I would prepare dinner for several days on Monday nights, so I wouldn't have to worry about thinking of what to eat on my long Wednesdays. That was always an ideal situation, but didn't always work out. So one week, I found myself exhausted after my long Wednesday and from staying up on Tuesday night studying. I was just debating if I wanted to cook, which I did have the groceries for, or if I wanted to take the easy way out and feed on some Mexican food or L&L.
I did decide to cook, since I'm trying to make sure I'm spending my money wisely. But during that food dilemma, I realized how much I haven't appreciated my mom in the past.
Call me spoiled if you want (I'm an only child), but after my rigorous schedule, I could relate to how exhausted my mom would be from work (every day!), but still manage the energy to put 2-3 entrees of food on the table. My mom doesn't have a knack or love for cooking as much as I do, but she still prepared meals from scratch almost every day. So I'm sure many of you may have realized this about your own lives already, but I am that much more thankful that my mom did this for me while I was home.
This is kind of like an early Mother's Day post, but I felt like I wanted to write this rather than just hang on to it.

Giant Coffee and KMK

This will be the new Treta from Starbucks. It is a 31 oz. plastic cup designed to hold iced coffee, iced tea, or iced tea lemonade. 31 oz. is ridiculous; I don't think anyone can finish that in one sitting without having to pee incessantly. I also recently read on a blog (OC Weekly) that Starbucks plans to alter their logo, and rebrand themselves without the coffee moniker. The article said that Starbucks is thinking of expanding their products to items other than coffee.

I could care less about Starbucks because I don't think their coffee is very good. They are just a HUGE chain, and unfortunately one of the few coffee options that are local to where I'm living right now. There are many more quality, and privately owned coffee shops in the Bay Area, which I am proud to be patrons of. When I order a coffee from Starbucks, I don't expect much, and it is often watered down. I often opt to brew my own coffee at home using grounds from Weaver's Coffee, Peet's, or Philz's Coffee. Starbucks is Starbucks, and as long as I have a gift card or for some reason I can't brew my own coffee, Starbucks will have to be my go to.

This past weekend, I participated in KMK, which is a private review group, which presents and summarizes the material test on the National Boards Exam for Optometry (NBEO). It was a grueling 4 days (Friday to Monday) averaging 8 hours each day. I'm glad I did it because it was definitely helpful, and it painted a good picture of what to expect. But I was definitely exhausted. My week isn't over yet, but yeah it's game time.

I'm realizing that I'm quickly approaching a time in my life where I need to make significant decisions in how I plan to live out my life. The key is "how I plan" and not how God has planned my life. I definitely need to rely on His sovereignty, and trust that He knows what's best. I still make decisions, but I need to make them based off the wisdom provided in the Bible. I want to have a successful and fulfilling life, but that isn't all about me. It's about a life that worships God as well, and I need to figure out what that is for me.

Church Membership

So this past weekend, I was introduced as a member of Evangel Bible Church of Orange County. This is the second time I've become a member of a church, and I guess you can say I took it more seriously and with my eyes and mind open. Prior to my time in Southern California, I haven't been a member of a church, and didn't really know what the expectations and in what light to view a commitment and relationship to a congregation.

At Evangel, the pastor recommended Stop Dating the Church by Joshua Harris, author of I Kissed Dating Goodbye. The book spoke about how Christ loves the church like His bride, and the passion He has for the church. Harris' emphasizes on points of being a part of a local body. Before reading, I knew that church was important, and participating in fellowship with the body is also important. However, I didn't hold it as in high as regard as Christ does. So going through the membership process, I went with new knowledge and eagerness to be a part of a local body, specifically EBCOC.

Since going to EBCOC in Feb 2010, I've met some of the members there, and I've learned a lot, and really was preached to about the Gospel, as they go through the book of Matthew. As a committed member, I hope I can continue to learn in my faith, learn to be a good member, and serve the church in whatever way I can, while I'm still in Southern California.

can't sleep...

182.2 lb @ 9:30
Goal: 165 lb.

I was going to write up this post later, but I can't sleep. I fell asleep around 11:30 and woke up at 4. I washed up and surfed the net a bit looking at recipes and catching up on my Google Reader feeds. Afterwards, I have been attempting to sleep with no success. I guess I'm lucky I only have 2 hours of class tomorrow with no clinic assignment, but I do have an exam Wednesday morning at 8.

I'll finish this post later...here's to hoping I fall asleep. :(

Fullerton

Weight today 183 @ 9:02 AM

Since returning to Fullerton after the holiday break, it's been rough emotionally adjusting to the setting. The drive back to Fullerton took 12.5 hours this past Sunday. Not only was it the traffic, but the weather was especially horrible, with snow and icy roads. I was at my wits throughout the trip, but I was lucky that a classmate was riding with me. In a way it was an experience, but definitely something I do not look forward to ever again. But's it's nice to know that I can endure such a long time behind the wheel.

I've since adopted a "job" mentality about being here in Fullerton. I have good friends, and admire many of the staff doctors at school, but I don't see myself enjoying Fullerton, as much as I used to. I like the freedom and independence that I have and that is needed to get by and get around while I'm living here. However, I can't say I don't feel a certain emptiness just sitting in class and going through the motions while I'm in Fullerton, and in the optometry program. I don't want to say I've lost interest in optometry. I enjoy it, and the process. I'm leaning towards the fact that I'm doing all this away from home.

Seeing my friends and my family always make it hard knowing that I'm not close enough to be involved in their lives, and for them to be as involved as mine. I know I have a similar post lamenting my situation at the same time last year, but I guess it's just a reoccurring thought. I'm blessed to have the opportunity that I have, but I'm always wanting to know why God sent me to Fullerton.

All the small things

So I was thinking in order to help me keep the posts going, I'm just going to post even all the small things going on in life. I used to just want to post big-picture things and thoughts, but that will just stop me from posting. So here we go...

So when I drove back to Fullerton, after the Christmas break, I went to stock up on groceries. I like to cook as much as I can to kind of control what food I'm putting in my body, and just to minimize the amount of money I spend eating out. Over the break, I had some lentil soup at Outlanders in SF (44th and Judah). My friend was saying that lentils are super cheap and a good grad student food. All I knew about lentils were that they are good for you and you often find them in curries in Indian and African (Ethiopian food). Turns out lentils are legumes (beans) and are high in protein.

Following my friend's advice, I looked up recipes on lentil stew. I adapted the recipe from all recipes ) Lentil Stew).



Lentil Stew
3 medium potatoes, cubed
1 (14 oz) can, diced tomatoes
1 medium onion, chopped
1 tablespoon, minced garlic
~1 lb of pork sausage
1 small can of tomato paste
~1/2 cup of frozen veggies (corn, carrots, peas)
8 oz. of lentils
salt, pepper, basil to taste
several slices of jalapenos (with seeds) to spice it up

Directions
1. Place the potatoes, tomatoes, onion, garlic, tomato paste, jalapenos, frozen veggies in a large pot and add enough water to cover the top, and heat until boiling. Let the water boil for about 20 min.
2. Cook the sausage in a separate pan, when meat is almost all well done add meat to pot that is set to boil.
3. Stir lentils into the pot, add more water if necessary. Bring to a boil and reduce heat to medium, and let boil for another 20 minutes while stirring occasionally.

Notes
- I cooked the sausage separately to minimize additional oil added to stew
- Skim the foam from the stew during boiling period
- Other cooks noted that the stew tasted better the next day or if there was more simmering time. I let the stew sit in a hot pot for about 4-5 hours.
- Serving size depends on the amount of water you use. I tried to cut the recipe in half and it was still a lot of stew.

This is something I would make again, and possibly try to perfect just because it's nice to have a hearty stew during the winter months. I'll try to post a picture when I can take a nice one.

Changes for 2011

So as is the trend every year, I try to re-inject some life into this blog. At least, I didn't delete it. So one way to help me keep up with this thing is update my progress in terms of losing weight in general and for my friend's wedding.

184.9 lbs @ 9:30 AM.

In addition to monitoring my weight, I'll post what recipes I've been trying out since I cook and bake when I'm not studying. I hope posting the recipes will help me get through them and encourage me to just keep trying new recipes.

It's a start. no promises.

Mass Effect 2 is a BAAAD game!

I purchased mass effect 2 and decided to open it and check it out the other day. I was only planning on playing a couple hours, and 10 hours later is when I turned off my xbox 360! I turned it on today and played another 8 hours. The game is so addicting.

What keeps me playing is the sci-fi world, that BioWare created, the characters that you get attached to, and just the different possibilities of your actions that keep the story in motion. I thoroughly enjoy the game, I'm just amazed how much time I've put into it. I beat Uncharted in 2 days, about 5 hours each day. The game took me 10.5 hours, and Mass Effect 2, I'm at 18 hours.

Just ridiculous.

What I also can't get over is that one of the characters in the game, Jacob Taylor looks so much like Kanye. It's like Kanye West is in the video game. I expect the character to just start rapping or getting mad at Taylor Swift or something.

Jacob Taylor

Kanye West

And....
Yvonne Strahovski (from Chuck) as Miranda Lawson

Post V-day post

Surprisingly, I didn't think about Valentine's Day too much this year. I was too concerned about studying for finals. I don't have any gripes about Valentine's day, but the video above just reminded about God's love versus flawed-human love. We can love one another, and love a significant other, but can we ever love like how God loved us? We can certainly try or aspire to that standard because God calls us to that.

Genuine love for others because God first loved us.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

I wonder if people realize that for only children, aside from God and parents, friends are all we got. I think my parents understand that especially since they're older, which makes it harder for them to keep up with certain things. So all I've really got are friends, which I have great ones so far, but I can't say the same about my situation in Fullerton. I'm not sure if its the graduate school atmosphere or the water in Southern California, but I get back to the same thought that I value and invest more in friendships than the other person.

This carries over from being home over winter break, and essentially staying home most of the time. Coming back to Fullerton, school has been manageable, just the usual demanding schedule where we practice techniques at odd hours of the night. It just sucks when everyone is doing their own thing, since they're originally from here or have other plans, and I'm just left on my own. It difficult believing in friendships when calls are not returned or texts aren't answered. Since coming back, I've just been struggling with feeling lonely. Friendship isn't a one way street. All I can do is accept everything for what it's worth, and hope that down the line I meet and make friends that see friendship the same way I do. The misconception is that people change, but reality is that it doesn't happen often.

For the friends I have in Fullerton, I think whatever we have now is as far as it will ever go, until something changes on their end. All I can do is just put myself out there hoping people have the same regard for friendship that I do. This is definitely and emo post, but this is just what I've been dealing with recently.

The Uncertainty Is Annoying

What do you do when you feel like your attracted to someone, but logically and realistically there are obstacles in the way?

I'm trying to remind myself of God's timing and faithfulness, but it's hard. Temptation is great, but God is greater.

So Unexpected?!?!

While I was waiting at the airport for my flight back to Fullerton, which was delayed, someone tried to rob my parents' house. Luckily or even more terrifying was that my parents were home. The thief came in through the backyard, and my parents, in the kitchen, just so happened to see the thief.

The thief took off in a car that was parked in our drive way. I would've never thought that something like that would happen to my home and my family. You always see/ hear stories like on America's Most Wanted, and when I was a kid I would let my imagination run wild. Praise God for my parents safety.

When my dad told me all this, I was initially concerned about my parents, and then my thoughts went to "what if things were stolen." I felt the guilt of idolatry, and storing or valuing worldly things or treasures. Nothing we have here (on Earth) is more important than our relationship with God, and nothing and no one should deserve more worship and praise than God. So I felt somewhat ashamed that even when I try to view all my possessions through this perspective, my thoughts still diverted in that direction of what if...my Playstation 3 was stolen along with my games and movies.

Only if Kali wasn't such a scaredy-cat! But honestly, praise God that everyone is safe, and my parents' home has not been burglarized. They are so wired now and doing everything to prevent another robbery attempt. But also this was just as reminder that God provides everything for us, and we should be ready to let it all go as well.

Lay Up Treasures in Heaven

19 "Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, 20 but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
22 "The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light, 23 but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!

24 "No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money.

Matthew 6:19-24

Whaddup 2010!

I was looking at my previous post in 2008 about celebrating the new year and reminiscing about 2007. It's crazy how that was 2 years ago. I didn't have a post in 2009, but my goals for 2008 are kind of similar. I guess I'm just like everyone else where we have persistent goals that we procrastinate about.

After reflecting on 2009, and just being home for the past 2 weeks, I'm realizing what is missing in my life, and that's my relationship with God. Everything has been fine in '09 except for my relationship with God, and I'm thinking if I concentrate on that everything else will fall into place. Since I've graduated from Davis, I've been occasionally going to church, nothing consistent. My schedule and demands in graduate school also make it difficult to sacrifice time to get plugged in to a church whether it be in the Bay Area or in So Cal. I realize that I will have random ups and downs, and often its not anyones' fault but using a cliche I just feel that there is something missing.

I feel like I should be happy since I'm with family, and things are going well, but I'm not. I know my relationship with God is there, but it's not where it should be and I think that's why my focus is on what's missing and not what I have. It's sad coming home, and just spending a majority of my time in my parents' house. I have friends, though most of them are in the South Bay. It's just hard wanting to go out and do something, but just not feeling up to it, and my parents aren't very adventurous at their age. I guess it comes down to having more friends that are nearby, or more convenient to meet up with. The question is where does that come from? The church.

I'm not saying that I would attend church purely to make new friends, but that's the solution to all my problems. Building up my relationship with Christ will balance out the rest of my life. So it's not that I'm not happy, but I know where I'm struggling in life and 2010 is time for action.

This is my BIGGEST goal in 2010, and my biggest expectation. My next post will have other minor expectations, less monumental ones.

So Long 2009

To start the end of 2009, I found out my former high school coach passed away. I found out he was admitted to the hospital earlier this week. When I swam for Art, I posted my best times in swimming. Swimming probably was like 50% of my high school life next to the academics. I enjoyed swimming for Art and being under his coaching as opposed to my previous time spent at my club team. Practicing and having him coach me made me feel like I was a part of a team, and not just competing for myself or against my teammates. He had me swim 200 and 500 freestyle, the endurance events that he needed me to swim and win for my high school. He called me names, but I know it was in good fun. I found it exciting and fun to swim for him, and I think he appreciated how hard I swam for him, and how the rest of our team swam hard for him and our school. When I got to Lowell, the swimming team had won 4 years consecutively, and my class was able to experience another 4 more years of success. Art's legacy continued after I left for another 4 more years. RIP Art Octavio; you left a legacy in Lowell swimming, and the hearts of your swimmers.

Since 2009, is at its end; I'm another year closer to being an optometrist. 2012 cannot come soon enough. Overall, this year has been relatively drama free. Aside from living on my friends couch for a month, while enduring finals, and being a part of a love triangle, everything has been pretty smooth. The relationship with my relatives has been non-existent since I moved out of their place. I don't know how my mom is communicating with them or at all. The love triangle is resolved, and I'm on the outside looking in. It took a while to get over, but it is for the best.
I went to 3 weddings this year, and one of them I was a part of. It was awesome just celebrating people committing their lives to each other. It was special finally seeing two of my closest friends tie the knot, and sad to see them move to NY. I remember their last week here; I made two special trips to Ici (an ice cream shoppe) and buy 2 pints of ice cream for them. I was able to hang out with them and other friends from college this past two weeks while I was home. They say we're getting old. We are only 24-26. God willing; we still have a lot of time left. I think she may feel older cause she's already married.
No relationships this year just a lot of exploring. In 2009, I put myself out there more, and dated more freely. I take the "let's see what happens approach." I don't invest myself too much into first dates because it's only a first date, just try to have a good time and go from there.

Academically, things have been going well. Optometry school is demanding but just managing my time has helped me get through it. I'm learning more and school seems to be moving faster since I'll be seeing patients in 2010. I know this year has been tough on many other people and friends. It's just been pretty hum-drum for me in retrospect. In my next post, I'll talk about my expectations and hopes for 2010.

(500) Days of Summer

sooooo....i finally watched this movie since it came out this week on DVD. It wasn't what I expected, but I think they make that clear from the very beginning. It is "a story about a boy meeting a girl, but it's not a love story." I like Joseph Gordon-Levitt's wardrobe in this movie, but I doubt I could ever pull that off, but it's nice. I also was wondering if Levitt was imitating a Jersey accent or if that is really how he talks.
Pacing the movie by jumping from one day and then another event 200 days later was kind of disrupting. However what I liked about the movie is how they really analyze and tell the story with all the intricate details of the two people meeting and trying to figure out what they are, which I feel is common in how indie films explore and tell things.
It was an epiphany, when Tom talks to his step sister. She tells him "you may think she was the one, but looking back at it, i don't think she was the one for you." Maybe it just resonates with me, but it is so true how we interpret things, and how we only remember certain things and ignore others. Also I really liked how they portray the difference between his expectations and reality; I felt it was a reflection of how I think of things all the time.
I thought it was awesome that at the end, he meets someone else, Autumn (Minka Kelly from Friday Night Lights), who is more attractive than Summer (Zoey Deschanel).
Overall, I thought the movie was great, but the pacing wasn't what I expected. I did like the day after sex musical sequence. It reminded me of Enchanted when they're singing in Central Park.

blog revival !!

So I know I haven't posted in a while. Plenty of things have been happening, and numerous thoughts have crossed my mind, but at the end of the day I've just been too lazy to enter them into the blog. My friend decided to start a blog because her life is about to have 2 major changes: marriage, and relocation (to NY). Talking to her about her blog reminded me of putting effort into my own. I also know a lot of people don't read this any way, which is kind of good since I can write more openly, but at the same time there just isn't a lot of readership.

I'll continue posting about random things, recently thoughts of the NBA draft and free agency to my trip to Portland. The bachelor party experience (not what you think), and a roommate came to visit from SoCal. Those are just some of the things that have been going on the past several weeks.

Why I do what I do

So after successfully, surviving one week of research, I told my manager that I would work in the optometry office on Saturday. My experience this past Saturday reminded me why I want to become and optometrist, and why I enjoy it.

After very little person to person interaction in the research/lab setting, I was seeing patients come into the office and signing them in and dispensing glasses or contacts to them. I didn't run as many pre-tests that day for some reason, but it was just really rewarding and enjoyable just to be helping patients and seeing people that I saw the first time they came into the office. They remembered me, and I remember them. I found myself more welcoming and friendlier, when they came in and left the office to enjoy the weekend.

Two patients who really got me excited was one who was returning for the 2nd time, and picking up glasses. She is a video game tester at EA games (awesome!). She tests the Sims games, and recently worked on the Sims 3. So not only was it exciting to see her back at the office, but just to talk about her job and what she's been doing was just fun for me. Next was a walk-in patient looking to get glasses made. Turns out she works at Pixar, and was working on the movie Up for the past 5 years. Honestly, when I meet patients who are in career fields, that are art related make me excited to ask questions and learn more about what they do. So it was exciting chatting it up with her and what it is like working at Pixar.

So another incident that happened that day was the daughter of a patient came in requesting that we make glasses for her mother. The pair of glasses had broken, and legally without a recent eye exam, and a valid perscription, we cannot get glasses made. The situation was that the mother is in a nursing home, and it would be difficult for her to come out for an eye exam, and impractical for the O.D. to go there and conduct and eye exam. I am not sure if the empathy is a result of the recent passing of my employer's mother, or something else. But the O.D. said that we could make glasses for the patient without an exam, and taking the prescription from the broken glasses that were brought in.

This scenario reminded me of why I wanted to be an optometrist, and how sometimes you need to break the rules to do what is right, and what is best for the patient. It is technically illegal, but it's ethical in that you're helping the patient. We're helping more than causing harm. It is not just our ability to sympathesize or empathesize with our patients, but as Christians we need to show love to others because God first showed us love. Interacting with patients is not only a joy, but it is an expression of the love that God had for us. It's no where on the same level as God's agape love, but it's one form of expression that we, as humans, can best try to imitate Him.

Day 3

So, a conclusion from Day 2 is that I don't like research cause a lot of the time you're doing work by yourself. I'm sure if there were more patients involved in certain studies, then that would improve the interaction, but I found myself working with not chatting-companions.

At the office I work at, despite the hectic nature of the patient flow, it's always comforting to be able to chat with co-workers, patients, and employers. I found myself staring at the computer a lot the past couple days, whether it was compiling and organizing corneal topographic maps, or reading journal articles.

I do like what I'm researching though. I'm learning a lot, and I'm able to connect what I learned this past year to things that I'm being introduced to now, and seeing the big picture. That's how I like to learn. So, it's not that I don't like research; it's more that the work environment is not my cup of coffee (I prefer coffee over tea :D)

But I did get to meet with my mentor for the first time. My impression is that a lot of effort is expected from me, but the reward and results from that effort is already envisioned, so the motivation is there. It's going to be tough, but rewarding in the end. I'm not one to back away from a challenge, and when I commit to something, it means I give a lot up for it. It also helps that my research area is very applicable. The focus is on contact lenses, in general the approach is why is there a constant drop-out rate of contact lens wearers despite the various improvements, in design and cleaning solutions?

The approach to address that issue is whether certain measurements that are advertised as being important for maintaining the moisture of a contact lens in the eye, is really indicative of maintaining the tear film in eyes. In addition, does the measurement imply anything about patients who experience dry eyes all the time.

The can of worms is open, and I'm still reading the label on the can....here we go!